


Ive still got some demons

by BlueMoonHound



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst, Attempted anyway, Blood, Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Multi, No Explicit Violence, Self-Harm, Self-Mutilation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-18
Updated: 2017-06-18
Packaged: 2018-11-15 10:21:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11228958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueMoonHound/pseuds/BlueMoonHound
Summary: “kaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannny,” you lean against the door. Then you turn your ear and press it against it.Something drips. Someone hiccups. It sounds like a crying hiccup, not a stupid expulsive body efforts hiccup.





	Ive still got some demons

**Author's Note:**

> warnings for like, blood and stuff, obviously, and mentions of having to go piss lol
> 
> Also I'm so so sorry.... i needed more angst in my life.

“Hey tulip canya pause th movie? I needa piss.”

You sit up. Latula grumbles something about you being a warm cushion and pushes herself into a stable position too, grabbing the remote. “Wonder were Kanny is.”

“Wan me to find 'im?”

“If he's in the house, I guess. I woulda thought he'd jump at a chance to pile with us.”

She's right. It's not exactly like Kankri – at least the new Kankri, the self aware best boyfriend Kankri – to disappear on a movie night. “Mebbe he jus needs some alone time,” you say, stretching as you stand.

Latula nods, lazily munching some of the popcorn.

“Don't eat that all befr I get back,” you yell over your shoulder.

You slide down the handrail. Tula tells you not to do that but you do it anyway. Because it's fun.

The bathroom door is closed.

“Kanny I haveta piss!! hurry up!”

You shake your left hand, lean against the doorframe, and wait.

For three minutes.

Kankri isn't known for taking a long time in the bathroom.

“kaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannny,” you lean against the door. Then you turn your ear and press it against it.

Something drips. Someone hiccups. It sounds like a crying hiccup, not a stupid expulsive body efforts hiccup.

“You okay Kankri?” You nibble your lip.

No response.

“I'm getting Tula.”

Kankri moans behind the door. “Goway,” you make out. It sounds – its sounds, not like Kankri at all, it sounds terrible, and you suddenly feel like your bloodpusher might be in your throat. Hell.

Fuck, “Fuck fuchth, I'm, im a get Tula, fuck--” you turn around, leap up the stairs.

Latula's sagged back against the couch, eating the last pieces of popcorn out of the bowl when you return.

“Finally! What took ya?” she says, then she sees your face and lowers her glasses a little. “Ey you okay?”

“Tula Kanny's crying and he won't let me in the bathroom.”

She stands up with that sort of agile grace you could admire if you had time and follows you back downstairs to the bathroom. She knocks. “Kankri hon you okay in there?”

Another painful, wet hiccuping sound. “No. go away.”

“Kanny… we're not going to leave if you're not okay. Unless this is about the… you know. Before the game.”

“No,” he admits, sounding resigned.

Tula opens the door.

There's blood everywhere. You shudder, gripping the doorframe with one hand, and Latula puts a hand on your shoulder like a reminder. You take a deep breath, ignore the bright red all over the floor, and focus on the details of the scene as Latula rushes forward.

Kankri actually looks pretty cried out, to be honest. Like he's been crying for the past hour. There's a – a SAW on the floor, and he's sagging, knees drawn to his chest, one hand inches from the saw's handle like he gave up and the other hidden behind his body till Latula drags it into view, a huge gash across the back of it, along the joint of the wrist. You wince again, wishing the wall was a pole instead of a wall so you could wrap all your limbs around it. You compromise by sitting down and leaning your weight against the doorframe insistently.

“Kankri- what--” Latula asks, searching his (unfocused, holy shit fuck fuck) eyes for some answer.

“Was gonna do my tongue,” he said. “but I don't talk with that much anymore, so I thought… get rid of the hands first...” He giggles, hysterical, and pulls his legs up farther so he slides a few inches down the cabinets.

“Kanny, no one wants to silence you...” She puts his hand back down.

“I want to silence me,” Kankri whispers.

“Shit dude, we gotta stitch this up. That's gonna be the most unradical thing ever.” Latula turns to you. “The pain meds are in the other bathroom.”

You take that as your cue to abscond.

You grab the bottle of meds on your way out of the bathroom – and extra gauze, just in case, and slide right in next to kankri, picking up the dirty saw and putting it on the counter. You sit back on your feet so only the soles of your shoes are on the bloody floor.

“Kan. Kanny.” You lean forward.

He looks at you, moving like it's a lot of work.

“Can I touch you?”

He makes a noise in the back of his throat and leans towards you, and you slide under him so you can hold him against you while Latula stitches up the back of his hand. He's pale and shaking by the time she's done, and you pap his face with jerky, less than coordinated hands while she persuades him to drink a glass of water.

Kankri finally, finally swallows his medication and relaxes against your chest, eyelids fluttering. You rub a little horn.

“Tuna, you coordinated enough to get Kanny upstairs? I'm gonna clean the bathroom.”

You nod and pull Kankri against your chest, trying to hold yourself as steady as you can. Stairs are tricky, but you have practice now, and you manage just fine, settling Kankri on the couch. You sit down next to him, pulling him into the form of your side.

“Its movie night, wadaya wanna watch?”

“What did you two have in?”

“Iron man 2? I thinksh.”

He sighs.

You wait.

“Ah, maybe spirit? The one about horses.”

You smile and flip through till you find the movie, turning it on.

Latula comes back in right after the horse scene with bowls of edible cookie dough, tea, and blankets. Usually Kankri is the one who does that sort of thing, but he's currently out of commission, and you're not surprised Latula thought of it. She wedges herself between Kanny and the other side of the couch, helping him hold his tea with a shaky hand.

“You know you can talk to us, right? We're not gonna tell you to shut up.”

“Yeah,” Kankri says, hoarse and tired.

“Hwat proviked thiat anywya? Normal ur fine. Or finer than this.”

“I just…” He pauses, sighing. “Every time I mess up socially I get these thoughts, and.. I guess I cracked.”

Little red tears bubble under his eyes and you hold up a hand as an invitation, like, I'll wipe those away if you'd like. He pushes your hand down and wipes his eyes himself.

“We wantcha to be able to tell us things,” you say. “cant touch you if you cant tell me its okay, right?”

"Yeah, Kanny, communicating isn't just about lecture. It's important." 

“I'll do my best,” he says.

“That's all we can ask.”


End file.
